Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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