conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
