How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize