You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
