Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
