I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
