One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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