i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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