dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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