I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
