what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
