whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
