you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
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No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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