About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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