I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
