i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
