What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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