I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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