How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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