the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
