Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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