True but thats because hes a fetus.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
