Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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