I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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