soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize