Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
