Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
