Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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