highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize