I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Randomize
