Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
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i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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