I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
