So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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