I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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