I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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