his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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