As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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