bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
