It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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