I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
