Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
