Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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