Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
