you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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