I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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