So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
