yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
