i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
