so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
