turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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