come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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