so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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