also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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