Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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