Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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