just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
