Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
They took my balls.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
