I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
