Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
